Monday, January 26, 2009

Funny stuff

So as you know we have been doing Strengths Finders here over the past few months in conjunctions with the survey we took with Gallup. Well my Signature Themes are Command, Adaptability, Woo, Empathy and Ideation. Since this post is not about me, enough about me, save to say I have put my Signature Themes right over there <<--------.

So we have a parishioner and one of her Signature Themes is Communication. She had to have her gall bladder removed the other day. I guess since she was at home and bored a bit, she wrote a press release for her surgery. She was really letting her Communication strength shine. I found it so humorous that I asked if I could publish it here, she agreed. I hope you get a chuckle out of this like I did. Enjoy.

(Fayetteville, GA, January 22, 2009)
Chris and Rhonda Boyle announce the birth of a gall bladder today, named Gallbonzo. Chris has nicknamed the little guy "Golly" but Rhonda prefers "the little bean." They have chosen to have a Closed Adoption and Gallbonzo has been delivered to the Pathology Department of Fayette-Piedmont Hospital and trust that "the little bean" will be properly tested before heading out to parts unknown.
Prior to the surgery, Rhonda's Anesthesiologist, in discussing the case, advised her that as of August 15th of this year -- when she marks the 50th anniversary of her birth -- that it would be "all downhill" from there. She soundly chastised him for the comment and advised him that he needed an "attitude adjustment". She was administering said adjustment in the operating room, right up until the Doctor wisely placed a mask over her nose and mouth in an effort to eliminate the chatter. She hopes that in spite of her abrupt silencing, he learned a lesson in doctor/patient relations and will immediately seek classes on Bedside Manners.
Renowned surgeon, Dr. John Goza took extra time and care navigating his surgical camera through a jungle of scar tissue from previous procedures. When he finally was able to grasp Gallbonzo from the abdominal cavity, he exclaimed, "Gotcha!"
The only near-fatal mistake of the entire procedure was Rhonda's lack of judgment in refusing anti-nausea medication, thinking that the natural remedy at home could overcome such massive quantities of anesthesia. Dr. MarySue Goza saved the day, but only after thoroughly rebuking the patient. "Hang dog" would be an appropriate description of Rhonda's facial expression after being advised by the alternate partner of the Goza medical team. She likened the advice to a "riot act", but humbly admitted responsibility for her lack of judgment.
Chris was overheard saying, "Well, let's just say we will not miss Golly, but wish him well." Rhonda likened the adventure to taking a direct, frontal hit to the gut by a 300-pound linebacker named Brutus. Pain medication, fortunately, was administered quickly by Chris before they left the hospital. As he takes his responsibilities seriously, an alarm is set to go off every 7.5 hours to ensure that before the bell tolls another dose can be taken, effectively reducing Rhonda's pain, whining, and his own suffering. "Belly-aching has taken on a whole new meaning," he said.
Another day or two of rest and recovery is in store before Rhonda hopes to be back involved in her numerous activities. She appreciates all prayers and is offering up any discomfort and suffering for those who are in need. She also hopes that all who read this documenting of the story will recognize that while appropriate and necessary, pain medications do carry some side effects.

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